Connection to the world.

I am on page 289 and on chapter 33 in P.S. I Love you i read a lot over the weekend and the part that i read this time Holly found out that before her husband passed away he booked a Holly day for her and her friends to Lanzarote and when she found out she went to the place he booked it at and she asked Barbara about it and Holly broke down in tears and Barbara was scared she never made a customer cry but she sat there with Holly why she cried and told her every detail she could remember about her and gerry's conversation. So Holly and her friends finally went on the trip and then her friend brought up the fact that she never talks about Gerry and she said "i don't know how to talk about him." Then she thought for a while "I don't know wether to say 'Gerry is' or 'Gerry was' i don't know wether to be sad or happy when i talk about him to other people. it's like if i'm happy when i talk about him certain people judge me and expect me to be crying my eyes out. When i'm upset when talking about him it makes people feel uncomfortable." She stared out to the black sea sparkling in the background and her voice was quieter when she spoke again. " I can't tease him in conversation like i used to because it feels wrong. I can't talk about things he told me in confidence because i don't want to give his secrets away, because they're his secrets. i just don't quite know how to remember him in conversation. it doesn't mean i don't remember him in here," she tapped the side of her temples. This is on page 237. The girls went out to the beach and went to clubs and worked on there tan while they were there and had a near death experience. Then they went home and all the girls decided it would be a good idea to stay away from each other for a few days having been together a whole weak and all. Then a couple days later she got invited to a dinner with her friends and other people she doesn't know. So she went to the dinner and she was questioning wether to go into the dinner because they were all married but then she saw Daniel and went in with him but they agreed to leave by 11. But at the dinner her friend Sharon was pregnant and Denise was getting married. Then she had another letter to open and neither Denise or Sharon called to see what it said so she started thinking that everything with Gerry didn't matter to her friends anymore. My connection to the world is how Holly reacts about not talking about Gerry most married couples do that when there husband passes away.